Dear X

From: g <***********@gmail.com>
To: x <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 25, 2006 3:28 AM
Subject: Re: jeremy irons and midsummer

i thought bush was supposed to have pretty smart people around him. they claimed it to be one of the strengths of his administration no? I just borrowed this book called "dissent from the homeland: essays after september 11". gotta show it to you. in the introduction, one of the editors wrote "All of the essays are united in the belief that American is threatened by the most powerful enemy in its history, the administration of George W. Bush". lol.

well being a real leader whom people want to follow and listen to (and not just because of your office) is not easy. incidentally, today (as in tuesday) was the anniversary of winston churchill's death.. now that's a man whom i'd love to meet. i guess i'm also drawn to leaders who got where they did the hard way (ie aragorn (lol), martin luther king, gandhi..) and not through predigree or connections. Somehow bush doesnt seem to exhibit any kind of depth convincingly enough to be taken seriously or to warrant the kind of respect due (at least by me), and what's strange is how the american people appear to be so easily taken in by him..

maybe one of the legacies of the bush administration will be a wake-up call to those who were so mindlessly duped by his religious rhetoric. obviously their outlook on the world mirrors bush or else they wouldn't have been supporting him. Perhaps his record of lousy policies and interventions coming from an extremely narrow, self-righteous and arrogant worldview will call for some serious self-examination and paradigm shifts... which might (ideally and hopefully) in the future, make the average american more sober and easier to live with.. (ok i was just half-kidding about the last part..but you're slightly better than average so i don't mean you.lol:)

so one of the things someone told me was to focus on the intentions of a person and not necessarily their actions cos apparently, when we understand where someone is coming from and what his heart is really about, then maybe we won't be so quick to judge and i guess to a certain extent that's true, even though it's not so simple or funny anymore when flawed interventions arising from the best of intentions affect the lives of so many people..

and maybe i'm just young and hopeful and not fully exposed to the brutality of life to be totally jaded and cynical and i still want to believe the best in people.. (even though Bush has quite pushed the limits of doubt benefits) ya know i was just thinking, that grosvenor house in a lot of ways is like this little utopian world where everything's quite fine and dandy most of the time (except when the heating doesnt work.. like now) and the past few months i feel so separated from what's going on in the real world. i mean, going to the theatre, having a "studio" apartment, living in covent garden.. like wow. :D maybe that's what "privilege" dulls one into... a sort of fake feeling of security of having (almost) everything under control. i guess real education begins when one leaves the comforts of subsidized prime property residences, generous allowances and student discounts.

ok maybe that's not entirely true... some people are here because of huge sacrifices on their part.. :P and i think i've been through some pretty rough seasons and have seen some fair share of crap (in my short *ehhem* 24 years of "living":), even though the past does seem like a distant memory... sometimes i feel like i've lived so many different lives ya know? :)maybe the trick is to just be pragmatic and do what you can in any given situation and to have faith and hope that things will be okay because regardless of all the shit that is happening and will happen, everyday is a new day and the sun will rise again and how bad can it possibily get anyway? :D

i just hope that whatever happens after london, i'll have the courage to do whatever it is i have to do, to quit my post-modernist tendencies:), to be hopeful of the future, and to still have faith that love, above all, is very much alive and because of that, i will believe the best in people, i will overlook minor (and major) faults, i will not be caught up with nasty gossip and petty arguments, and i will make time to go diving. :D

and it's 3 in the morning and i hope you're not too bothered with a flood of incoherent and disconnected thoughts, as usual. :)

it's all bush's fault.

good night.

g.