Monday, January 30, 2006

an anthropologist..

"is to write as truthfully, intelligbly and impartially as possible about the ordinary people living today whom we study."
- Chris Fuller

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Our Primary Mission

"to hunger for righteousness, to pursue peace, to forbear revenge, to love enemies, in other words, to be marked by the cross."

John Stott

Dear X

From: g <***********>
To: x <**********>
Date: Jan 25, 2006 3:28 AM
Subject: Re: jeremy irons and midsummer

i thought bush was supposed to have pretty smart people around him. they claimed it to be one of the strengths of his administration no? I just borrowed this book called "dissent from the homeland: essays after september 11". gotta show it to you. in the introduction, one of the editors wrote "All of the essays are united in the belief that American is threatened by the most powerful enemy in its history, the administration of George W. Bush". lol.

well being a real leader whom people want to follow and listen to (and not just because of your office) is not easy. incidentally, today (as in tuesday) was the anniversary of winston churchill's death.. now that's a man whom i'd love to meet. i guess i'm also drawn to leaders who got where they did the hard way (ie aragorn (lol), martin luther king, gandhi..) and not through predigree or connections. Somehow bush doesnt seem to exhibit any kind of depth convincingly enough to be taken seriously or to warrant the kind of respect due (at least by me), and what's strange is how the american people appear to be so easily taken in by him..

maybe one of the legacies of the bush administration will be a wake-up call to those who were so mindlessly duped by his religious rhetoric. obviously their outlook on the world mirrors bush or else they wouldn't have been supporting him. Perhaps his record of lousy policies and interventions coming from an extremely narrow, self-righteous and arrogant worldview will call for some serious self-examination and paradigm shifts... which might (ideally and hopefully) in the future, make the average american more sober and easier to live with.. (ok i was just half-kidding about the last part..but you're slightly better than average so i don't mean

so one of the things someone told me was to focus on the intentions of a person and not necessarily their actions cos apparently, when we understand where someone is coming from and what his heart is really about, then maybe we won't be so quick to judge and i guess to a certain extent that's true, even though it's not so simple or funny anymore when flawed interventions arising from the best of intentions affect the lives of so many people..

and maybe i'm just young and hopeful and not fully exposed to the brutality of life to be totally jaded and cynical and i still want to believe the best in people.. (even though Bush has quite pushed the limits of doubt benefits) ya know i was just thinking, that grosvenor house in a lot of ways is like this little utopian world where everything's quite fine and dandy most of the time (except when the heating doesnt work.. like now) and the past few months i feel so separated from what's going on in the real world. i mean, going to the theatre, having a "studio" apartment, living in covent garden.. like wow. :D maybe that's what "privilege" dulls one into... a sort of fake feeling of security of having (almost) everything under control. i guess real education begins when one leaves the comforts of subsidized prime property residences, generous allowances and student discounts.

ok maybe that's not entirely true... some people are here because of huge sacrifices on their part.. :P and i think i've been through some pretty rough seasons and have seen some fair share of crap (in my short *ehhem* 24 years of "living":), even though the past does seem like a distant memory... sometimes i feel like i've lived so many different lives ya know? :)maybe the trick is to just be pragmatic and do what you can in any given situation and to have faith and hope that things will be okay because regardless of all the shit that is happening and will happen, everyday is a new day and the sun will rise again and how bad can it possibily get anyway? :D

i just hope that whatever happens after london, i'll have the courage to do whatever it is i have to do, to quit my post-modernist tendencies:), to be hopeful of the future, and to still have faith that love, above all, is very much alive and because of that, i will believe the best in people, i will overlook minor (and major) faults, i will not be caught up with nasty gossip and petty arguments, and i will make time to go diving. :D

and it's 3 in the morning and i hope you're not too bothered with a flood of incoherent and disconnected thoughts, as usual. :)

it's all bush's fault.

good night.


Saturday, January 21, 2006


"What is it, namely, that connects the temporal and eternity, what else but love, which for that very reason is before everything and remains after everything is gone."

Soren Kierkegaard


I love weekends. Went with the usual suspects and add-ons yesterday to see "Comedy of Errors" performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company. My first proper shakespeare performance ever. It was brilliant.

Oh man, I am so.. blessed. beyond belief. :)

It's chinese new year in a week's! :)

Monday, January 16, 2006

Week 2

happy birthday abe!! :)


Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Galatians 2:12


My whole body is aching after a session of rugby yesterday with the lse team. Such a fun game.. also such a painful game. The good news is, there are no 2m tall germans on the team. The bad news is, ... wait.. there's no bad news. I love it. :)

It's week 2 of school. Packed schedule ahead because I can't decide yet which classes I want to take, so i'm going to all my viable options before deciding. Having too much fun, as usual.


Tuesday, January 10, 2006

heavenly reminder.. :)

Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul--not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He's set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, 14the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating.


My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you've been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.

Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that's not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in him, so you can see and hear him clearly. You don't need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything.

Entering into this fullness is not something you figure out or achieve. It's not a matter of being circumcised or keeping a long list of laws. No, you're already in--insiders-not through some secretive initiation rite but rather through what Christ has already gone through for you, destroying the power of sin. If it's an initiation ritual you're after, you've already been through it by submitting to baptism. Going under the water was a burial of your old life; coming up out of it was a resurrection, God raising you from the dead as he did Christ. When you were stuck in your old sin-dead life, you were incapable of responding to God. God brought you alive--right along with Christ! Think of it! All sins forgiven, the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant canceled and nailed to Christ's Cross. He stripped all the spiritual tyrants in the universe of their sham authority at the Cross and marched them naked through the streets.

So don't put up with anyone pressuring you in details of diet, worship services, or holy days. All those things are mere shadows cast before what was to come; the substance is Christ.

Don't tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They're a lot of hot air, that's all they are. They're completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.

So, then, if with Christ you've put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it? "Don't touch this! Don't taste that! Don't go near this!" Do you think things that are here today and gone tomorrow are worth that kind of attention? Such things sound impressive if said in a deep enough voice. They even give the illusion of being pious and humble and ascetic. But they're just another way of showing off, making yourselves look important.


MUahhahahahaaaaa.... i'm still quite amazed at the Bible. :D

Saturday, January 07, 2006

What you feed grows, what you starve dies

Related: Pathology

(_t´ref_) , diminution in the size of a cell, tissue, or organ from its fully developed normal size. Temporary atrophy may occur in muscles that are not used, as when a limb is encased in a plaster cast. Interference with cellular nutrition, as through starvation; diseases affecting the nerve supply of tissues, e.g., poliomyelitis and muscular dystrophy; and prolonged disuse may cause a permanent wasting away of tissue. Atrophy may also follow hypertrophy .

Related: Pathology

(h_pûr´tref_) , enlargement of a tissue or organ of the body resulting from an increase in the size of its cells. Such growth accompanies an increase in the functioning of the tissue. In normal physiology the growth in size of muscles (e.g., in an athlete as a result of increased exercise) and also the enlargement of a uterus in pregnancy are caused by hypertrophy of muscle cells. In pathology the thickening of the heart muscle from overstrain, as in hypertension (high blood pressure), is the result of hypertrophy. An organ subjected to extra work (e.g., the one kidney left to function after surgical removal of the other) usually compensates by enlarging; in such cases hyperplasia, an increase in the number of cells, generally accompanies hypertrophy.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

life after death

ya know what, life isn't so bad. :)


New Year Resolutions
1. Get a new heart, new brain and lots of courage, to
2. Live well, be happy and fruitful in all areas of me - spirit, soul, body, so i can actually
3. Graduate well, and
4. Do what i'm supposed to be doing after graduation (whatever that may be), and at the same time, to
5. Enjoy every bit of London/Europe/Now


i think it's possible.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Christmas Pictures

It was a happy time. :)


I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:19-26


so here i am, writing my first post of the year. i don't want to think about writing. times like these, the organization of sentences, coherence of thought and rules of proper grammar just will not apply. i wish i could just throw my constipated-ness to the wind and let all the pent-up emotions, feelings and thoughts of the past months out through words. on this blog. and perhaps after that catharsis, my soul will breathe again, finding pockets of air through the heaviness that sometimes threaten to smother the life out of my being.

i am weary, through troubles and anxieties and fears that are not even completely mine. I can't even put the blame on one particular incident. it's just the culmination of so many "events" that has happened to me and the people around me, that, were i to be a true pessimist, can only result in the following conclusions:
1. there are no good guys left.
2. most guys are jerks
3. there's so much sadness and suffering and not much solutions for a dying world.
4. life. is. pretty much. hopeless.

and then i read the bible and i do find hope and comfort in its words.. and i so want to make it relevant to the world in general. yet it's so hard to reconcile the reality of the world and the reality of the truth that i find in God.. and perhaps there is no reconciliation ever because one might as well talk about the difference between death and life.

Still, life has to find its way into death. And more than ever, it's so clear that the only hope for a dying people is for life to be breathed into lifelessness. For how can i find hope from and for myself, when in and out of myself, there is no hope to give? I need the source of Life. Ah let me live again! Let the world live again. On my own, I just can't handle the sadness that i feel, so real and manifested in all the harshness that we call "life".


I think I have lost bits and pieces of my heart. I need to get it back in one piece. I need to fully believe again.