congrats babe *mwah.
never underestimate that babyface. :D
muhahahaha.. come visit me!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
je suis malade
i've got a cold. but still managed to drag self outta bed and go for brazilian buffet for E's bday.. he belanjaed and i can't say no to free food, can i? :)
nothing much can beat shariff's though. simple inexpensive pleasures. :D
it's the first day of the last week of school today. had the last dv400 lecture. i guess this is where the real work starts, synthesizing all my knowledge and fitting the details into the bigger picture in prep for the exams. *gulp*
i miss warm weather and my head feels woolly.. :( boohoo..
nothing much can beat shariff's though. simple inexpensive pleasures. :D
it's the first day of the last week of school today. had the last dv400 lecture. i guess this is where the real work starts, synthesizing all my knowledge and fitting the details into the bigger picture in prep for the exams. *gulp*
i miss warm weather and my head feels woolly.. :( boohoo..
Monday, March 06, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
It's Friday!!
woohoo..
**
I'm so tired. long long week spent writing.. a lot. of nonsense. :)
hopefully it'll be worth it.
Meanwhile, tomorrow i'll be visiting stonehenge. *wink
I have a new neighbour two doors away on the right, across the hallway. chick from singapore, 3rd year undergrad. We're gonna integrate her into the G-floor gang. Muahaha... will be fun.
woohoo...
***
oh i went for hillsong connect group for the first time last weds. friend had to convince me to go, cos i was so shy and afraid that they'd eat me up. turned out to be great cos everybody was kinda new, the boys cooked.. we had about 10 of us from different countries.. and there were no "cliques" in the group.. so people were kinda mingling. awesome.
can't wait for more. *grin
Badia!!
**
I'm so tired. long long week spent writing.. a lot. of nonsense. :)
hopefully it'll be worth it.
Meanwhile, tomorrow i'll be visiting stonehenge. *wink
I have a new neighbour two doors away on the right, across the hallway. chick from singapore, 3rd year undergrad. We're gonna integrate her into the G-floor gang. Muahaha... will be fun.
woohoo...
***
oh i went for hillsong connect group for the first time last weds. friend had to convince me to go, cos i was so shy and afraid that they'd eat me up. turned out to be great cos everybody was kinda new, the boys cooked.. we had about 10 of us from different countries.. and there were no "cliques" in the group.. so people were kinda mingling. awesome.
can't wait for more. *grin
Badia!!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
on the weather..
So the past few days I've had a few late nights which resulted in the luxury (or necessity) of sleeping till noon. I like to sleep with the curtains pulled back (what's the word for it? The opposite of drawn? Drawn means to pull together right? Sharks my english is terrible.) so i can wake up to sunlight illuminating the room. And boy, the past few days the sun has been brilliant - hardly a cloud in the sky - extra motivation to go running.
or not.
I put on my bright coloured clothes (in anticipation of spring), ditch the heavy sweaters and scarf, and step outside to soak in the mild weather as seen through my window, only to be slapped back to the reality that:
1. winter is SO not over (max 4C, min -2)
2. looks are so deceiving
3. england is a country full of weather surprises.
It snowed on Monday, yesterday and today. 10-15 minute sessions of falling white. Earlier, in yet another lecture on poverty, my mind absently tuning in to labor-wages-employment-welfare arguments while making its voyages around the world, it started snowing (again) outside. It didn't really register at first, until people in class started nudging each other, whispering "it's snowing!" and gesturing outside at the gentle dropping flakes. ahhhh.. so pretttyy....
and then five minutes later, it stopped.
I'm still waiting for the much-fabled London covered in absolute white to materialise. Blizzard Geezard.
or not.
I put on my bright coloured clothes (in anticipation of spring), ditch the heavy sweaters and scarf, and step outside to soak in the mild weather as seen through my window, only to be slapped back to the reality that:
1. winter is SO not over (max 4C, min -2)
2. looks are so deceiving
3. england is a country full of weather surprises.
It snowed on Monday, yesterday and today. 10-15 minute sessions of falling white. Earlier, in yet another lecture on poverty, my mind absently tuning in to labor-wages-employment-welfare arguments while making its voyages around the world, it started snowing (again) outside. It didn't really register at first, until people in class started nudging each other, whispering "it's snowing!" and gesturing outside at the gentle dropping flakes. ahhhh.. so pretttyy....
and then five minutes later, it stopped.
I'm still waiting for the much-fabled London covered in absolute white to materialise. Blizzard Geezard.
Monday, February 27, 2006
she's gone
and there's this vacuum in my heart and lonely space in the room which only her presence can fill...
(NOT!!)
ok ok. feel convicted on all counts. guilty as charged. i'm a meanie.
but i tried my best, considering the circumstances. and god, next time, i'll do better.. really.. :D
(NOT!!)
ok ok. feel convicted on all counts. guilty as charged. i'm a meanie.
but i tried my best, considering the circumstances. and god, next time, i'll do better.. really.. :D
Sunday, February 26, 2006
after dinner mints
Dinner was pretty jolly. We had sushi for the first time, thanks to the tireless effort of my guest. It's no easy task to boil the rice to a just right consistency, cut the vegetables into long thin strips, make sure the amount of vinegar is again, just right, and finally, roll the sushi in fragile seaweed and cut it with my not-so-sharp collection of knives. Incredible.
S came (with a new haircut), k made pasta, d made some rice and yoghurt thingy, i fried vegetable spring rolls (that had been in the freezer since chinese new year), v brought a choc cake, r dropped by, S2 brought some cheap champange, and we also opened a bottle of white wine which some person donated a few dinners back that actually tasted like proper wine. :) i think the trick is to buy wine which cost more than 8 pounds. but of course, with student allowances and our "cheaper the better" orientation, all we've had were lousy wine at previous dinner parties:P :)
I suspect that we might be getting too familiar with each other though, as most of the conversation/interaction nowdays has achieved the level of sibling-like bickering, although i'm not complaining. There's something strangely comforting about being able to knowningly, confidently and rudely tell someone to shut up, without causing any offense..
***
So i think at the core of it, i feel slightly uncomfortable with the presence of my uncle's friend, whom i shall now call M, because the emotions and thoughts that her presence evoke in me is too close for comfort ya know? Perhaps she gives me an idea of how i could have turned out, should i not have this life I'm living now. I could have easily been in her shoes.. fed-up with home, desperate for a better life, lonely, having all these aspirations of starting anew here and now having these dreams slightly taken a beating. The cold reality is that the real world is brutal and nobody really cares. And without the knowledge of God, it's a potential exercise in futility. Tough.
and maybe her presence (or intrusion.. depending on how you look at it) is a gentle jolt from the Father for some cross-examination of g-self which has resulted with the reminder of how incredibly blessed i am. Everything in my life is such a gift for undeserving me... which is why i feel compelled to just be there for her. even if i really don't feel like it.
so, since my life is really not mine in the first place, what's my problem right? :)
it's like dad would say, christians have no "right" to anything because our lives are not our own. The way of the Jesus-people calls for abandonment to everything that seeks to distract us from the one thing that is our consciousness: the unconditional and desperate love of the Father manifested in the death of Jesus on the cross, and what that love compels us to do.
so, no problem at all but sorry god, i still have my moments. it's tough ya know, but you did it so i guess it can be done. :P
in some manner it reminds me of manila and what S and i used to hypothesize about. You get all these people pulling on you for everything, and much is required of your time, your energy, resources, etc.. When do you put your foot down and say no? Well, the conclusion (so far, after much thought and argument), has been: yes, love compels, but don't be stupid. :P
and here, a familiar well-worn passage that dad made us read every morning before we head off to school..
Love, from 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
No more childish ways. Time to grow up.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
pssst..
i'm hiding out in the library. (no not really. i'm here to borrow some books and it's freaking cold outside and i'm underdressed so i don't know if i'll make it home alive..)
my uncle's friend has eaten two cans of my heinz soup, appear to be overly friendly to my floormate, k (till he almost thinks she's hitting on him), invited herself to our stonehenge trip next weekend (although we had to say no go cos it's organized by the hall with limited spaces) and .. and.. and she's cooking dinner tonight. woohoooo..
well now i have good excuse to buy more soup (sainsbury's offer: 3 cans for £1), we have more excuses to heap teasing and snide remarks on k (he'll never hear the end of this), and sushi for dinner is always a good idea.
***
ok ok honestly, it ain't so bad. but but but.. but what if she decides to come every week? *gulp* oh my, next week is her birthday. woooohooooooooooowlllllll...
wahhhhh... hahahahahaa... ahhha.. ha.aha..ha.ha..
...
my uncle's friend has eaten two cans of my heinz soup, appear to be overly friendly to my floormate, k (till he almost thinks she's hitting on him), invited herself to our stonehenge trip next weekend (although we had to say no go cos it's organized by the hall with limited spaces) and .. and.. and she's cooking dinner tonight. woohoooo..
well now i have good excuse to buy more soup (sainsbury's offer: 3 cans for £1), we have more excuses to heap teasing and snide remarks on k (he'll never hear the end of this), and sushi for dinner is always a good idea.
***
ok ok honestly, it ain't so bad. but but but.. but what if she decides to come every week? *gulp* oh my, next week is her birthday. woooohooooooooooowlllllll...
wahhhhh... hahahahahaa... ahhha.. ha.aha..ha.ha..
...
"xxxxxx loves you"
my floormate wrote "xxxxxx (his name) loves you" on my computer in pencil. i think he definitely does, but i don't know what kind and to what degree. :)
sweet eh.
sweet eh.
Friday, February 24, 2006
when the rubber hits the road..
So a few weeks ago, I get this series of missed calls from an unknown number on my phone. Thinking that it was somebody really important about something really urgent (because nobody EVER calls me.. much less strangers), I decided to call back.
Turns out, it was this lady who is a friend of a particular uncle of mine whom i've met only once, four years ago. (The lady, not the uncle. The uncle i meet about once a year). She wanted to come stay over at my place, because she seemed to remember that I was nice and jolly and friendly to her that one time I met her. And, she claims to be friends even though i can't even remember what she looked like and had to ask her for her name, twice.
You know how it is when people put you in such a position that it would be outright rude to say NO I'M SORRY I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU AND YOU CAN'T SIMPLY CLAIM FRIENDSHIP AND BARGE INTO MY LIFE AND EXPECT ME TO DROP EVERYTHING TO ACCOMODATE YOU? Yeah well, at that stage, I had no choice, short of being obnoxious and risk ruining the family name. (like i really care about that in the first place)
So we agreed to meet for lunch and so that Saturday I set out to chinatown to have dimsum with her and her friend. Her friend was funny, interesting and paid for the dimsum. :) She.. she was.. "ernest", well-meaning and totally naive. Highly ambitious, she came over on a two-year holiday visa with the intention of finding a permanent job here eventually, having had enough of Malaysia and the "low prospects" and "dirty politics" back home. Bottom line was, she ain't going home to work. Ever. Ok, fine, whatever.
It started getting scary when we went back to my room for tea, and after about 5 minutes, she jumped onto my bed and started snuggling into the pillows. She then went into the bathroom and removed my "toilet book" from its usual space and jumped back into the bed with it. Right. Nothing I can't handle. It then got REALLY scary when she starting commenting about the books in the room and how she love books and want to be an "academician" and "oooohhhhh grace your room feels so nice.. i think i'll come over and stay with you over the weekend or whenever i'm in london."
(THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING..NOOOOOOOOO)
Right.
Fast forward to the present, a month later. She is, even as I'm writing this down in the basement, upstairs in my room, having taken over my bed, "littering" my room with her stuff, inserting her CDs in to my computer, monopolizing my music, and.. and.. she's staying until Sunday (and today is friday night) *Sob* and and.. i think she has plans to come back the following weekend. *gulp*
It all started when I received an email from her yesterday saying that she's exhausted and needed a place to rest and some "positive energy". (whatever that means). It wasn't a request to come over, it was more like a desperate plea to come over and i couldn't say No to that, could i? and today, i find out that she apparently emailed my uncle to ask HIM if SHE could come over and stay with ME and i was like, WHAT THE???? and i think i'm slighly pissed because first of all, i'm not even close to this uncle of mine. Second of all, my uncle sends his regards to me through her. So i don't know.. i don't know if that's normal. Third of all, i can't believe that my uncle, who never calls me, has never called me in his life, and most likely will never EVER call me, liberally dispense my number to a stranger and without informing me, expects me to take care of said stranger when she appears at my doorstep.
ok ok.. so there's the whole question of "what would jesus do?". Or even, "what would my parents do?". And I guess my parents would of course welcome strangers at their home and have been doing so for as long as i could remember. And i think although i suspect it was more of my dad then my mom, i never really understood the selflessness on their part and what big hearts they had to do it because THIS IS NOT SOMETHING ORDINARY PEOPLE DO. but of course, we are not called to be ordinary, are we?
so in spite of all the whining, i'm ok. i'm not particularly overjoyed that she's here. but i think i'll live. But there's still the question ya know? To what extent am i required to extend love? Are there limits to this sort of thing? Dare I take the words of Jesus literally all the way?
i'm torn. part of me wants to be rude. another part knows that i'll feel really bad if i'm rude. so i'm not rude. but i'm not overly friendly either. help. I'm trying not to be nasty.
Turns out, it was this lady who is a friend of a particular uncle of mine whom i've met only once, four years ago. (The lady, not the uncle. The uncle i meet about once a year). She wanted to come stay over at my place, because she seemed to remember that I was nice and jolly and friendly to her that one time I met her. And, she claims to be friends even though i can't even remember what she looked like and had to ask her for her name, twice.
You know how it is when people put you in such a position that it would be outright rude to say NO I'M SORRY I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU AND YOU CAN'T SIMPLY CLAIM FRIENDSHIP AND BARGE INTO MY LIFE AND EXPECT ME TO DROP EVERYTHING TO ACCOMODATE YOU? Yeah well, at that stage, I had no choice, short of being obnoxious and risk ruining the family name. (like i really care about that in the first place)
So we agreed to meet for lunch and so that Saturday I set out to chinatown to have dimsum with her and her friend. Her friend was funny, interesting and paid for the dimsum. :) She.. she was.. "ernest", well-meaning and totally naive. Highly ambitious, she came over on a two-year holiday visa with the intention of finding a permanent job here eventually, having had enough of Malaysia and the "low prospects" and "dirty politics" back home. Bottom line was, she ain't going home to work. Ever. Ok, fine, whatever.
It started getting scary when we went back to my room for tea, and after about 5 minutes, she jumped onto my bed and started snuggling into the pillows. She then went into the bathroom and removed my "toilet book" from its usual space and jumped back into the bed with it. Right. Nothing I can't handle. It then got REALLY scary when she starting commenting about the books in the room and how she love books and want to be an "academician" and "oooohhhhh grace your room feels so nice.. i think i'll come over and stay with you over the weekend or whenever i'm in london."
(THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING..NOOOOOOOOO)
Right.
Fast forward to the present, a month later. She is, even as I'm writing this down in the basement, upstairs in my room, having taken over my bed, "littering" my room with her stuff, inserting her CDs in to my computer, monopolizing my music, and.. and.. she's staying until Sunday (and today is friday night) *Sob* and and.. i think she has plans to come back the following weekend. *gulp*
It all started when I received an email from her yesterday saying that she's exhausted and needed a place to rest and some "positive energy". (whatever that means). It wasn't a request to come over, it was more like a desperate plea to come over and i couldn't say No to that, could i? and today, i find out that she apparently emailed my uncle to ask HIM if SHE could come over and stay with ME and i was like, WHAT THE???? and i think i'm slighly pissed because first of all, i'm not even close to this uncle of mine. Second of all, my uncle sends his regards to me through her. So i don't know.. i don't know if that's normal. Third of all, i can't believe that my uncle, who never calls me, has never called me in his life, and most likely will never EVER call me, liberally dispense my number to a stranger and without informing me, expects me to take care of said stranger when she appears at my doorstep.
ok ok.. so there's the whole question of "what would jesus do?". Or even, "what would my parents do?". And I guess my parents would of course welcome strangers at their home and have been doing so for as long as i could remember. And i think although i suspect it was more of my dad then my mom, i never really understood the selflessness on their part and what big hearts they had to do it because THIS IS NOT SOMETHING ORDINARY PEOPLE DO. but of course, we are not called to be ordinary, are we?
so in spite of all the whining, i'm ok. i'm not particularly overjoyed that she's here. but i think i'll live. But there's still the question ya know? To what extent am i required to extend love? Are there limits to this sort of thing? Dare I take the words of Jesus literally all the way?
i'm torn. part of me wants to be rude. another part knows that i'll feel really bad if i'm rude. so i'm not rude. but i'm not overly friendly either. help. I'm trying not to be nasty.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
a moment
From: Grace Choong
To: ******** ****** <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Feb 21, 2006 1:23 AM
Subject: Re: ok..
it's amazing isn't it how people can get so caught up in fervour and passion and be totally blinded by ignorance. again this just sums up the reality of the world we live in doesn't it? everything is teetering in a delicate balance.. in some ways we don't know what to expect anymore. maybe we never did. forces from every direction, pulling and constraining and fighting for our affections and ultimately, our souls. sometimes i feel lost in all the ideas and opinions that i'm exposed to over here. every other person proclaiming the latest fashionable ideology in my face. i'm torn into a million pieces. my world is constantly being deconstructed and when that happens at too fast a pace i feel as though i'm hurtling through the universe at top speed, into an abyss.. unsure of what lies at the end of the fall.
(yet in the end, there are always arms of love to catch me.. and i think in the past few days i've been repeatedly reassured of that. and perhaps this knowledge is the one thing that keeps me going)
i'm pressed into a position to make up my mind. in the midst of the conflicting forces that yell for my attention, i am pressured to get off the fence. To make a stand and squeeze out: what the hell is it that i truly believe in? i think in some ways i'm experimenting with a whole lot of ideas and theories.. and now more than ever, there is much need for truth.. to serve as a sword to piece the darkness and confusion that cloud our thinking and outlook, to navigate and fight through the bullshit and to get to the core of it all: the one thing that makes life worth living. What is the one passion that underlies our being, the essence that gives meaning to the dust that we are, that exposes superficial thoughts and actions for what they are, and that brings us closer to truth.
(Queue "x-files" theme song.. doo doo doo doo dooo dooooo)
:)
so today we went to watch jeremy irons do a quasi-monologue in this play called "embers". it's pretty good i hope you'll get to watch it as well. in some ways it was more terrifying than a horror movie, because the themes it explored were basic and fundamental to the human heart: love, passion, betrayal, friendship, revenge, bringing the existential us to our knees. One thing he mentioned which i remembered was, this question that he put forward: if you really love someone, can you bind them to the promise of fidelity? Because the fact that they engage in infidelity means that your love was not enough to make them happy.. and so if you really love them and want them to be happy, you would not bind them to such promises. (paraphrase mine)
scary.
i think i'm finding it more and more necessary to love. K, (one of my floormates) tells me that i'm too sincere and trusting for my own good. Apparently i can't live in the real world full of dogs and rats. I should find some place idealistic and fine and dandies to live and "do my own thing" there.. Like mars, i suggested. And he said, yea.. like mars. Mars would be a good idea, he thinks.
we were kinda dissecting the play and he was saying how it's a really sad play but it's stuff which he already knows about.. that life is empty and we are all animals and all we live for is to survive. And me, of course, trying to convince him otherwise, that we are more than animals.. that we have to live inspired.. and that we are not here to merely survive.. but there is something great worth living for.
and after a while he just said (we were on msn chat. he was upstairs and i was downstairs in the basement), "i'm coming down. i can't type anymore" and he came down and i think he wanted to talk further but there were people in the room and we couldn't..
but i'm more and more convinced that there is really no other way to live and to counter the evil in this world. I'm committed to a life of non-violence. i'm a christian pacifist. i condemn the war in iraq and the (real or imagined) war in malaysia. i do not support the rights of particular indigenous peoples.. i support freedom in the widest possible sense of the word for ALL. I hate ethnic divisions. I particularly dislike putting people in a box attached with labels. I still want to believe the best in people.
I think I'm at that stage when i'm really really sorting out for myself what i truly believe in after all the constant construction, deconstruction and restructuring of my cosmology. I've got miles to go. lol.
But.. i gotta start somewhere.
Waking up is the word. Hibernation's over.
love,
g.
To: ******** ****** <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Feb 21, 2006 1:23 AM
Subject: Re: ok..
it's amazing isn't it how people can get so caught up in fervour and passion and be totally blinded by ignorance. again this just sums up the reality of the world we live in doesn't it? everything is teetering in a delicate balance.. in some ways we don't know what to expect anymore. maybe we never did. forces from every direction, pulling and constraining and fighting for our affections and ultimately, our souls. sometimes i feel lost in all the ideas and opinions that i'm exposed to over here. every other person proclaiming the latest fashionable ideology in my face. i'm torn into a million pieces. my world is constantly being deconstructed and when that happens at too fast a pace i feel as though i'm hurtling through the universe at top speed, into an abyss.. unsure of what lies at the end of the fall.
(yet in the end, there are always arms of love to catch me.. and i think in the past few days i've been repeatedly reassured of that. and perhaps this knowledge is the one thing that keeps me going)
i'm pressed into a position to make up my mind. in the midst of the conflicting forces that yell for my attention, i am pressured to get off the fence. To make a stand and squeeze out: what the hell is it that i truly believe in? i think in some ways i'm experimenting with a whole lot of ideas and theories.. and now more than ever, there is much need for truth.. to serve as a sword to piece the darkness and confusion that cloud our thinking and outlook, to navigate and fight through the bullshit and to get to the core of it all: the one thing that makes life worth living. What is the one passion that underlies our being, the essence that gives meaning to the dust that we are, that exposes superficial thoughts and actions for what they are, and that brings us closer to truth.
(Queue "x-files" theme song.. doo doo doo doo dooo dooooo)
:)
so today we went to watch jeremy irons do a quasi-monologue in this play called "embers". it's pretty good i hope you'll get to watch it as well. in some ways it was more terrifying than a horror movie, because the themes it explored were basic and fundamental to the human heart: love, passion, betrayal, friendship, revenge, bringing the existential us to our knees. One thing he mentioned which i remembered was, this question that he put forward: if you really love someone, can you bind them to the promise of fidelity? Because the fact that they engage in infidelity means that your love was not enough to make them happy.. and so if you really love them and want them to be happy, you would not bind them to such promises. (paraphrase mine)
scary.
i think i'm finding it more and more necessary to love. K, (one of my floormates) tells me that i'm too sincere and trusting for my own good. Apparently i can't live in the real world full of dogs and rats. I should find some place idealistic and fine and dandies to live and "do my own thing" there.. Like mars, i suggested. And he said, yea.. like mars. Mars would be a good idea, he thinks.
we were kinda dissecting the play and he was saying how it's a really sad play but it's stuff which he already knows about.. that life is empty and we are all animals and all we live for is to survive. And me, of course, trying to convince him otherwise, that we are more than animals.. that we have to live inspired.. and that we are not here to merely survive.. but there is something great worth living for.
and after a while he just said (we were on msn chat. he was upstairs and i was downstairs in the basement), "i'm coming down. i can't type anymore" and he came down and i think he wanted to talk further but there were people in the room and we couldn't..
but i'm more and more convinced that there is really no other way to live and to counter the evil in this world. I'm committed to a life of non-violence. i'm a christian pacifist. i condemn the war in iraq and the (real or imagined) war in malaysia. i do not support the rights of particular indigenous peoples.. i support freedom in the widest possible sense of the word for ALL. I hate ethnic divisions. I particularly dislike putting people in a box attached with labels. I still want to believe the best in people.
I think I'm at that stage when i'm really really sorting out for myself what i truly believe in after all the constant construction, deconstruction and restructuring of my cosmology. I've got miles to go. lol.
But.. i gotta start somewhere.
Waking up is the word. Hibernation's over.
love,
g.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Adam Kuper
He spoke today at a debate in school. Provoked all sorts of emotional responses with people even calling him a "fascist anthropologist", among other undeserving names. Thoughtful intelligent gentleman who looks like Harisson Ford. I shoke his hand. My latest hero. lol. :)
excerpts from another forum..
"This question of identity is an interesting one in relation to this; it's a new kind of question. People out in the world there are looking for their identities. I don't know if any of you have this problem, you wake up in the night, 'Who am I?' It's a sort of adolescent problem that many people have evidently carried on into adult life. It hasn't bothered me for a long time but people have this problem, 'Who am I?' - and the answer is, the answer we're supposed to find, is that I find my identity when I find what group I belong to. And there can only be one group. So I discover I am gay. Or I discover that I am Muslim. I make this discovery, and then I search out my group, and I adopt the ways of thinking, the prejudices, the views, the manner of speaking and so on of this group, and then I have found my identity, I've found my place in the world and from then on I can be happy and fulfilled as a human being.
The reality, as Bonnie said of course, is that we all contain multitudes. We are all sorts of different people all the time, we're in different contexts, we have different notions, we contradict ourselves, we play with one idea rather than another. What we don't want is for someone to look at us and say 'I know who you are, I can tell who you are by your accent, by your colour or by your hairstyle, I know who you are and so I know a whole range of things about you, I can put you in your box.' That, of course, is very dangerous and a degenerate way of dealing with other human beings. So I am a liberal, I take the liberal point of view that what matters is allowing the greatest possible freedom for individual choice and individual self-expression, and also the freedom to change, so I am very much against all collective attributions of identity, and I'm against all sorts of movements that demand from an individual solidarity with a group with which they have some kind of imaginery identity."
(taken from www.kenanmalik.com)
excerpts from another forum..
"This question of identity is an interesting one in relation to this; it's a new kind of question. People out in the world there are looking for their identities. I don't know if any of you have this problem, you wake up in the night, 'Who am I?' It's a sort of adolescent problem that many people have evidently carried on into adult life. It hasn't bothered me for a long time but people have this problem, 'Who am I?' - and the answer is, the answer we're supposed to find, is that I find my identity when I find what group I belong to. And there can only be one group. So I discover I am gay. Or I discover that I am Muslim. I make this discovery, and then I search out my group, and I adopt the ways of thinking, the prejudices, the views, the manner of speaking and so on of this group, and then I have found my identity, I've found my place in the world and from then on I can be happy and fulfilled as a human being.
The reality, as Bonnie said of course, is that we all contain multitudes. We are all sorts of different people all the time, we're in different contexts, we have different notions, we contradict ourselves, we play with one idea rather than another. What we don't want is for someone to look at us and say 'I know who you are, I can tell who you are by your accent, by your colour or by your hairstyle, I know who you are and so I know a whole range of things about you, I can put you in your box.' That, of course, is very dangerous and a degenerate way of dealing with other human beings. So I am a liberal, I take the liberal point of view that what matters is allowing the greatest possible freedom for individual choice and individual self-expression, and also the freedom to change, so I am very much against all collective attributions of identity, and I'm against all sorts of movements that demand from an individual solidarity with a group with which they have some kind of imaginery identity."
(taken from www.kenanmalik.com)
Sunday, February 05, 2006
On a Sunday Morning..
woohoo.. it's a nice sunny day and I'm going to check out the church evensong service later at St Martin in the Field.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
He gets better!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Stanley Hauerwas
google him, read his stuff. this one person i'd like to meet.
Excerpts:
"I am a pacificst, so the American "we" cannot buy my "me". But to be alienated from the American "we" is not easy. I am a neophyte pacifist. I never really wanted to be a pacificst. I had learned from Reinhold Neibuhr that if you desire justice you had better be ready to kill someone along the way.
But then John Howard Yoder and his extraordinary book The Politics of Jesus came along. Yoder convinced me that if there is anything to this Christian "stuff", it must surely involve the conviction that the Son would rather die on the cross than for the world to be redeemed by violence.
Morover, the defeat of death through resurrection makes possible as well as necessary that Christians live non-violently in a world of violence. Christian nonviolence is not a strategy to rid the world of violence, but rather the way Christians must live in a world of violence. In short, Christians are not nonviolent because we believe our nonviolence is a strategy to rid the world of war, but rather because faithful followers of Christ in a world of war cannot imagine being anything else than nonviolent.
American imperialism, often celebrated as the new globalism, is a frightening power. It is frightening not only because of the harm such power inflicts on the innocent, but because it is difficult to imagine alternatives. Pacifists are often challenged after an event like September 11 with the question, "Well, what alternative do you have to bombing Afghanistan?" Such a question assumes that pacifists must have an alternative foreign policy. My only response is I do not have a foreign policy. I have something better - a church constituted by people who would rather die than kill."
- taken from A Pacifist Response, in "Dissent from the Homeland, essays after September 11"
Excerpts:
"I am a pacificst, so the American "we" cannot buy my "me". But to be alienated from the American "we" is not easy. I am a neophyte pacifist. I never really wanted to be a pacificst. I had learned from Reinhold Neibuhr that if you desire justice you had better be ready to kill someone along the way.
But then John Howard Yoder and his extraordinary book The Politics of Jesus came along. Yoder convinced me that if there is anything to this Christian "stuff", it must surely involve the conviction that the Son would rather die on the cross than for the world to be redeemed by violence.
Morover, the defeat of death through resurrection makes possible as well as necessary that Christians live non-violently in a world of violence. Christian nonviolence is not a strategy to rid the world of violence, but rather the way Christians must live in a world of violence. In short, Christians are not nonviolent because we believe our nonviolence is a strategy to rid the world of war, but rather because faithful followers of Christ in a world of war cannot imagine being anything else than nonviolent.
American imperialism, often celebrated as the new globalism, is a frightening power. It is frightening not only because of the harm such power inflicts on the innocent, but because it is difficult to imagine alternatives. Pacifists are often challenged after an event like September 11 with the question, "Well, what alternative do you have to bombing Afghanistan?" Such a question assumes that pacifists must have an alternative foreign policy. My only response is I do not have a foreign policy. I have something better - a church constituted by people who would rather die than kill."
- taken from A Pacifist Response, in "Dissent from the Homeland, essays after September 11"
Monday, January 30, 2006
an anthropologist..
"is to write as truthfully, intelligbly and impartially as possible about the ordinary people living today whom we study."
- Chris Fuller
- Chris Fuller
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Our Primary Mission
"to hunger for righteousness, to pursue peace, to forbear revenge, to love enemies, in other words, to be marked by the cross."
John Stott
John Stott
Dear X
From: g <***********@gmail.com>
To: x <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 25, 2006 3:28 AM
Subject: Re: jeremy irons and midsummer
i thought bush was supposed to have pretty smart people around him. they claimed it to be one of the strengths of his administration no? I just borrowed this book called "dissent from the homeland: essays after september 11". gotta show it to you. in the introduction, one of the editors wrote "All of the essays are united in the belief that American is threatened by the most powerful enemy in its history, the administration of George W. Bush". lol.
well being a real leader whom people want to follow and listen to (and not just because of your office) is not easy. incidentally, today (as in tuesday) was the anniversary of winston churchill's death.. now that's a man whom i'd love to meet. i guess i'm also drawn to leaders who got where they did the hard way (ie aragorn (lol), martin luther king, gandhi..) and not through predigree or connections. Somehow bush doesnt seem to exhibit any kind of depth convincingly enough to be taken seriously or to warrant the kind of respect due (at least by me), and what's strange is how the american people appear to be so easily taken in by him..
maybe one of the legacies of the bush administration will be a wake-up call to those who were so mindlessly duped by his religious rhetoric. obviously their outlook on the world mirrors bush or else they wouldn't have been supporting him. Perhaps his record of lousy policies and interventions coming from an extremely narrow, self-righteous and arrogant worldview will call for some serious self-examination and paradigm shifts... which might (ideally and hopefully) in the future, make the average american more sober and easier to live with.. (ok i was just half-kidding about the last part..but you're slightly better than average so i don't mean you.lol:)
so one of the things someone told me was to focus on the intentions of a person and not necessarily their actions cos apparently, when we understand where someone is coming from and what his heart is really about, then maybe we won't be so quick to judge and i guess to a certain extent that's true, even though it's not so simple or funny anymore when flawed interventions arising from the best of intentions affect the lives of so many people..
and maybe i'm just young and hopeful and not fully exposed to the brutality of life to be totally jaded and cynical and i still want to believe the best in people.. (even though Bush has quite pushed the limits of doubt benefits) ya know i was just thinking, that grosvenor house in a lot of ways is like this little utopian world where everything's quite fine and dandy most of the time (except when the heating doesnt work.. like now) and the past few months i feel so separated from what's going on in the real world. i mean, going to the theatre, having a "studio" apartment, living in covent garden.. like wow. :D maybe that's what "privilege" dulls one into... a sort of fake feeling of security of having (almost) everything under control. i guess real education begins when one leaves the comforts of subsidized prime property residences, generous allowances and student discounts.
ok maybe that's not entirely true... some people are here because of huge sacrifices on their part.. :P and i think i've been through some pretty rough seasons and have seen some fair share of crap (in my short *ehhem* 24 years of "living":), even though the past does seem like a distant memory... sometimes i feel like i've lived so many different lives ya know? :)maybe the trick is to just be pragmatic and do what you can in any given situation and to have faith and hope that things will be okay because regardless of all the shit that is happening and will happen, everyday is a new day and the sun will rise again and how bad can it possibily get anyway? :D
i just hope that whatever happens after london, i'll have the courage to do whatever it is i have to do, to quit my post-modernist tendencies:), to be hopeful of the future, and to still have faith that love, above all, is very much alive and because of that, i will believe the best in people, i will overlook minor (and major) faults, i will not be caught up with nasty gossip and petty arguments, and i will make time to go diving. :D
and it's 3 in the morning and i hope you're not too bothered with a flood of incoherent and disconnected thoughts, as usual. :)
it's all bush's fault.
good night.
g.
To: x <**********@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 25, 2006 3:28 AM
Subject: Re: jeremy irons and midsummer
i thought bush was supposed to have pretty smart people around him. they claimed it to be one of the strengths of his administration no? I just borrowed this book called "dissent from the homeland: essays after september 11". gotta show it to you. in the introduction, one of the editors wrote "All of the essays are united in the belief that American is threatened by the most powerful enemy in its history, the administration of George W. Bush". lol.
well being a real leader whom people want to follow and listen to (and not just because of your office) is not easy. incidentally, today (as in tuesday) was the anniversary of winston churchill's death.. now that's a man whom i'd love to meet. i guess i'm also drawn to leaders who got where they did the hard way (ie aragorn (lol), martin luther king, gandhi..) and not through predigree or connections. Somehow bush doesnt seem to exhibit any kind of depth convincingly enough to be taken seriously or to warrant the kind of respect due (at least by me), and what's strange is how the american people appear to be so easily taken in by him..
maybe one of the legacies of the bush administration will be a wake-up call to those who were so mindlessly duped by his religious rhetoric. obviously their outlook on the world mirrors bush or else they wouldn't have been supporting him. Perhaps his record of lousy policies and interventions coming from an extremely narrow, self-righteous and arrogant worldview will call for some serious self-examination and paradigm shifts... which might (ideally and hopefully) in the future, make the average american more sober and easier to live with.. (ok i was just half-kidding about the last part..but you're slightly better than average so i don't mean you.lol:)
so one of the things someone told me was to focus on the intentions of a person and not necessarily their actions cos apparently, when we understand where someone is coming from and what his heart is really about, then maybe we won't be so quick to judge and i guess to a certain extent that's true, even though it's not so simple or funny anymore when flawed interventions arising from the best of intentions affect the lives of so many people..
and maybe i'm just young and hopeful and not fully exposed to the brutality of life to be totally jaded and cynical and i still want to believe the best in people.. (even though Bush has quite pushed the limits of doubt benefits) ya know i was just thinking, that grosvenor house in a lot of ways is like this little utopian world where everything's quite fine and dandy most of the time (except when the heating doesnt work.. like now) and the past few months i feel so separated from what's going on in the real world. i mean, going to the theatre, having a "studio" apartment, living in covent garden.. like wow. :D maybe that's what "privilege" dulls one into... a sort of fake feeling of security of having (almost) everything under control. i guess real education begins when one leaves the comforts of subsidized prime property residences, generous allowances and student discounts.
ok maybe that's not entirely true... some people are here because of huge sacrifices on their part.. :P and i think i've been through some pretty rough seasons and have seen some fair share of crap (in my short *ehhem* 24 years of "living":), even though the past does seem like a distant memory... sometimes i feel like i've lived so many different lives ya know? :)maybe the trick is to just be pragmatic and do what you can in any given situation and to have faith and hope that things will be okay because regardless of all the shit that is happening and will happen, everyday is a new day and the sun will rise again and how bad can it possibily get anyway? :D
i just hope that whatever happens after london, i'll have the courage to do whatever it is i have to do, to quit my post-modernist tendencies:), to be hopeful of the future, and to still have faith that love, above all, is very much alive and because of that, i will believe the best in people, i will overlook minor (and major) faults, i will not be caught up with nasty gossip and petty arguments, and i will make time to go diving. :D
and it's 3 in the morning and i hope you're not too bothered with a flood of incoherent and disconnected thoughts, as usual. :)
it's all bush's fault.
good night.
g.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
:)
"What is it, namely, that connects the temporal and eternity, what else but love, which for that very reason is before everything and remains after everything is gone."
Soren Kierkegaard
***
I love weekends. Went with the usual suspects and add-ons yesterday to see "Comedy of Errors" performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company. My first proper shakespeare performance ever. It was brilliant.
Oh man, I am so.. blessed. beyond belief. :)
It's chinese new year in a week's! :)
Soren Kierkegaard
***
I love weekends. Went with the usual suspects and add-ons yesterday to see "Comedy of Errors" performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company. My first proper shakespeare performance ever. It was brilliant.
Oh man, I am so.. blessed. beyond belief. :)
It's chinese new year in a week's! :)
Monday, January 16, 2006
Week 2
happy birthday abe!! :)
**
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Galatians 2:12
**
My whole body is aching after a session of rugby yesterday with the lse team. Such a fun game.. also such a painful game. The good news is, there are no 2m tall germans on the team. The bad news is, ... wait.. there's no bad news. I love it. :)
It's week 2 of school. Packed schedule ahead because I can't decide yet which classes I want to take, so i'm going to all my viable options before deciding. Having too much fun, as usual.
mwah.
**
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Galatians 2:12
**
My whole body is aching after a session of rugby yesterday with the lse team. Such a fun game.. also such a painful game. The good news is, there are no 2m tall germans on the team. The bad news is, ... wait.. there's no bad news. I love it. :)
It's week 2 of school. Packed schedule ahead because I can't decide yet which classes I want to take, so i'm going to all my viable options before deciding. Having too much fun, as usual.
mwah.